Get in the Halloween spirit with our spooktacular collection of funny Halloween jokes. Halloween is all about the scares and having a good time. Check out these funny Halloween jokes when you want a break from screaming in terror and want to start screaming with laughter instead.
2018 Funny Halloween Jokes
Q: What should you do if thirty zombies surround your home?
A: Hope it is Halloween!
Q: What do witches grow in the garden on Halloween?
A: They grow Zombeets.
Q: Why do Halloween ghosts moan, tremble and shiver?
A: Because it can get cold beneath the sheet.
Q: Why do mummies have a hard time relaxing?
A: They are afraid to unwind.
Q: How did the monster win the Halloween Bowl Game?
A: He threw the football over the ghoul line.
Q: Why are vampires always scaring people?
A: Because they are bored to death.
Q: What is the scariest cheese?
A: Muenster Cheese.
Q: What kind of vehicle do Halloween creatures drive?
A: They drive Monster trucks.
Q: What are the witches favorite carnival rides?
A: The rollerghoster and the scary-go-round.
Q: How do vampires say goodbye to each other?
A: They say “So long sucker.”
Q: What creature likes to play tricks on Halloween?
A: The Prank-enstein Monster.
For funny Halloween jokes at home, check out the book Spooktacular Halloween Jokes.
Q: What is a classic vampire love story told on Halloween night
A: A story about love at first bite.
Q: What do wise Owls say on Halloween night?
A: Happy Owl-o-ween!
Q: Why are female Halloween monsters always going on diets?
A: They want to keep their ghoulish figures.
Q: What’s a monster’s favorite bean?
A: The human bean.
Q: What is a favorite instrument to play on Halloween?
A: The Spookulele.
Q: Why does the witch have trouble traveling?
A: She gets broomsick.
Q: Why don’t mummies make good friends?
A: They are too wrapped up in themselves.
More Funny Halloween Jokes
Q: What do you call a vampire that loves to bake cookies?
A: Count Spatula
Q: What do you call a ghost on fire?
A: A toasty ghosty.
Q: Where do vampires keep their valuables?
A: At a blood bank.
Q: Why did the vampire get kicked out of the donut shop?
A: He sucked the filling out of all the jelly donuts.
Q: What do Italians enjoy eating on Halloween night?
A: Fettucinni Afraid-o.
Q: What key will get you in the haunted house?
A: A Spoo-key.
Q: Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
A: He was out-standing in his field!
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A: A Necktarine.
Q: What is a spider’s favorite place to visit on the web?
Q: Who is a famous witch detective?
A: Warlock Holmes.
Q: Why did the ghost band break up?
A: They kept getting Booooed by ghost friends.
Q: Where does Dracula like to eat his lunch?
A: At the Casketeria.
Q: Why did the vampire check out Newsweek?
A: He heard it had very good circulation.
Q: Why did the Halloween monster get fired from Starbucks?
A: He kept offering customers a scream or sugar.
Q: What kind of music do mummies like the best?
A: Wrap music.
Q: What streets do Halloween monsters like to hang out on?
A: Dead end streets.
Q: What are all the teenage monsters saying?
A: It’s ghoul.
Q: What food do vampires hate to order?
A: A Steak.
Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
A: Because of all the coffin.
Q: What does Dracula think about all these Halloween jokes?
A: They suck!