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50 Dracula Jokes

These Dracula jokes are the funniest vampire jokes on the web. We have dug up more than 50 Dracula jokes for you this Halloween to help make 2019 more fun than ever. If you want to bite into even more jokes, check out our huge list of vampire jokes too.

Dracula Jokes

Q: How does Dracula order his coffee?
A: De-coffin-ated.

Q: Why did Dracula flunk art class?
A: Because he would only draw blood.

Q: Where does Dracula keep his valuables?
A: At the blood bank.

Q: What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?
A: A bite in shining armour.

Q: What words are in Dracula’s family motto?
A: “Give Blood, Give Life.”

Q: Who does Dracula keep getting letters from?
A: Members of his fang club.

Q: Why didn’t Dracula get married?
A: He couldn’t meet a nice ghoul.

Q: What’s Dracula’s family car called?
A: A bloodmobile.

Q: Why did little Dracula get sent home from school?
A: Because he was coughin too much.

Q: Why did Dracula break up with his girlfriend after her blood test?
A: Because she wasn’t his type.

Dracula jokes  sports car fangster

Q: What is Dracula’s sports car called?
A: The Fangster!

Q: Why don’t other vampires like Dracula?
A: He has a bat temper.

Q: Where does Dracula go on vacation?
A: He summers in Lake Eerie and winters at The Dead Sea.

Q: What did Dracula say to the zombie?
A: There isn’t a single meal in you.

Q: What did Dracula say to his victim?
A: It’s been nice gnawing you.

Q: Why does Dracula make an inexpensive date?
A: Because he eats necks to nothing.

Q: What happened after Dracula died?
A: All the blood relatives flew in for the funeral.

Q: What’s Dracula’s favorite ice cream flavor?
A: Vein-illa.

Q: Why doesn’t Dracula have many friends?
A: Because he’s a total pain in the neck.

Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
A: To stop his coughin.

Q: Where does Dracula prefer to eat his lunch?
A: At the casketeria.

Q: What city do Dracula’s Chinese relatives live in?
A: Fanghai.

Q: Did you hear, Dracula is throwing a desert Rave?
A: It’s called Vampire campfire.

Q: Why was Dracula so disappointed in his son?
A: Because the boy fainted at the sight of blood.

Q: What does Dracula drink when he is dieting?
A: Blood light.

Dracula Madame Tussauds Hollywood Wax Figure

More Dracula Jokes

Q: How does Dracula keep his torch lit?
A: With batteries. 

Q: Why did Dracula fail his final exam?
A: He was too ghoul for school.

Q: What do you get if you cross a vampire with a sheep?
A: Drac-ewe-la.

Q: What is Dracula’s favorite dance when visiting Spain?
A: The fang-dango.

Q: Why does Dracula like to travel with his coffin?
A: Because his life is at stake.

Q; Why did Dracula visit the dentist?
A: He had a fang-ache.

Q: How does Dracula feel after a long night out?
A: Dead on his feet.

Q: What is Count Dracula’s favorite restaurant?
A: Murder King.

∗I saw a half-priced vampire decoration in the Halloween Store.
∗ It was a dis-Count Dracula.

Q: What name did Dracula give his new boat?
A: The Blood Vessel.

Q: What do you get if you cross Dracula with AI Capone?
A: A fangster.

Dracula Jokes Why did Dracula fail his final exam?

Q: What did Dracula’s son learn at school?
A: The alphabat!

Q: Why did Dracula become a vegetarian?
A: Because he heard steak was bad for his heart.

Q: Why doesn’t Dracula suck the blood from chickens?
A: Their blood is fowl.

Q: How does Dracula stay in shape?
A: Batminton.

A: What did Dracula say after getting invited inside?
Q: Fangs a lot.

A: Did you hear about Dracula’s castle?
B: They completely revamped it.

Q: Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get any sleep?
A: Because of his coughin.

Q: What song does Dracula hate most?
A: You Are My Sunshine.

Q: What happened after Dracula uploaded illegal content to YouTube?
A: A-count suspended.

Q: What do you call a vampire that can lift up cars?
A: Jack-ula.

Q: Why does Dracula avoid Las Vegas?
A: Because of all the high stakes poker.

Q: How does Dracula clean off all the blood?
A: He gets in the bat tub.

Q: Why was Dracula taking on a new apprentice?
A: Because he wanted to see some new blood around.

Q: Why wouldn’t Dracula take a bride?
A: He wanted to stay a bat-chelor.

Q: How many vampires does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: It depends if you Count Dracula.

Q: What did the teacher say to Dracula after he failed his math test?
A: Can’t you count Dracula?

Q: What is Transylvania famous for?
A: It’s Dracula’s terrortory.

Q: What are Dracula’s favorite little dishes to use?
A: Platelets.  

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