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Funny Halloween Jokes

Get in the Halloween spirit with our spooktacular collection of funny Halloween jokes. Halloween is all about the scares and having a good time. Check out these funny Halloween jokes when you want a break from screaming in terror and want to start screaming with laughter instead.

Zombie mob funny Halloween jokes

2018 Funny Halloween Jokes 

Q: What should you do if thirty zombies surround your home?
A: Hope it is Halloween!

Q: What do witches grow in the garden on Halloween?
A: They grow Zombeets.

Q: Why do Halloween ghosts moan, tremble and shiver?
A: Because it can get cold beneath the sheet.

Q: Why do mummies have a hard time relaxing?
A: They are afraid to unwind.

Q: How did the monster win the Halloween Bowl Game?
A: He threw the football over the ghoul line.

Q: Why are vampires always scaring people?
A: Because they are bored to death.

Q: What is the scariest cheese?
A: Muenster Cheese.

Q: What kind of vehicle do Halloween creatures drive?
A: They drive Monster trucks.

Q: What are the witches favorite carnival rides?
A: The rollerghoster and the scary-go-round.

Q: How do vampires say goodbye to each other?
A: They say “So long sucker.”

Q: What creature likes to play tricks on Halloween?
A: The Prank-enstein Monster.

For funny Halloween jokes at home, check out the book Spooktacular Halloween Jokes.

Q: What is a classic vampire love story told on Halloween night
A: A story about love at first bite.

Q: What do wise Owls say on Halloween night?
A: Happy Owl-o-ween! 

Q: Why are female Halloween monsters always going on diets?
A: They want to keep their ghoulish figures.

Q: What’s a monster’s favorite bean?
A: The human bean.

Q: What is a favorite instrument to play on Halloween?
A: The Spookulele.

Q: Why does the witch have trouble traveling?
A: She gets broomsick.

Q: Why don’t mummies make good friends?
A: They are too wrapped up in themselves.

Halloween Mummy Car Race

More Funny Halloween Jokes

Q: What do you call a vampire that loves to bake cookies?
A: Count Spatula

Q: What do you call a ghost on fire?
A: A toasty ghosty.

Q: Where do vampires keep their valuables?
A: At a blood bank.

Q: Why did the vampire get kicked out of the donut shop?
A: He sucked the filling out of all the jelly donuts. 

Q: What do Italians enjoy eating on Halloween night?
A: Fettucinni Afraid-o.

Q: What key will get you in the haunted house?
A: A Spoo-key.

Scarecrow Standing in Field

Q: Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
A: He was out-standing in his field!

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A: A Necktarine.

Q: What is a spider’s favorite place to visit on the web?

Q: Who is a famous witch detective?
A: Warlock Holmes.

Q: Why did the ghost band break up?
A: They kept getting Booooed by ghost friends.

Q: Where does Dracula like to eat his lunch?
A: At the Casketeria. 

Q: Why did the vampire check out Newsweek?
A: He heard it had very good circulation.

Q: Why did the Halloween monster get fired from Starbucks?
A: He kept offering customers a scream or sugar.

Q: What kind of music do mummies like the best?
A: Wrap music.

Q: What streets do Halloween monsters like to hang out on?
A: Dead end streets.

Q: What are all the teenage monsters saying?
A: It’s ghoul.

Q: What food do vampires hate to order?
A: A Steak.

Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
A: Because of all the coffin. 

Q: What does Dracula think about all these Halloween jokes?
A: They suck!

Did you enjoy these funny Halloween jokes? For more Halloween jokes check out Ghost jokes, Pumpkin jokes and Skeleton jokes.  We also have a Halloween jokes for kids page here.

If you want more mature content go to our Halloween jokes for adults page and check out Halloween Pranks for funny Halloween jokes to play on friends and neighbors this season.