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50 Pumpkin Jokes

Pumpkins should not be ignored this time of year. Jack-o-lanterns decorate porches all over town and it’s easy to see how these orange gourds influence the holiday. Scroll to the bottom of the page for Halloween jokes.

We have harvested some jack-o-lantern and pumpkin jokes in time for Halloween. Pumpkins are plentiful around Halloween and their bright orange color adds to the Halloween spirit. 


Q:  What did Cinderella say when her carriage suddenly turned into a pumpkin?
A: Oh my gourd!

Q: Why were the two pumpkins so close?
A: They had deep roots.

Q: Where do pumpkins like to live?
A: In the seedy part of town.

Q: What did the pumpkin say to the jack-o-lantern?
A: “Got a light?”

Q: What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin?
A: “Are you feeling ill?”  

Q: What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin?
A: “Why orange you orange?”

Q: What did the pumpkin say to the pie maker?
A: “Wouldn’t you rather use apples?”

Q: Why do pumpkins do poorly in school?
A: Because eventually they end up with all their brains scooped out.

Q: Who helps the smaller pumpkins safely cross the street?
A: The Crossing Gourd.

Q: Why was the gourd so gossipy?
A: To give ’em pumpkin to talk about.

Q: What’s the best thing to put in a piece of pumpkin pie?
A: Your teeth!

Q: How do gourds grow big and strong?
A: By pumpkin iron.

Q: What do you call the family and relatives of gourds?
A: Pump-kin.

Q: Where does a pumpkin preach?
A: From the pulp-it.

Q: Why did the pumpkin turn red?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing.

Jack-O-Lantern Jokes

jack o lantern jokes images

Q: What did the jack-o-lantern say to the unripe pumpkin?
A: You are looking a little green. 

Q: What is a jack-o-lantern’s favorite sport?
A: Squash.

Q: Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to go on the roller ghoster?
A: It didn’t have the guts.

Q: How can we fix broken jack-o-lanterns?
A: With pumpkin patches.

Q: How do pumpkins get up to the roof?
A: They use a jack-o-ladder.

Q: Why did the jack-o-lantern fail out of school?
A: Someone had scooped it’s brains out.

Q: What do you call a pumpkin who plays a lot of sports?
A: A jock-o-lantern.

Q: What name did the pumpkids call the school bully?
A: Jerk-o-lantern.

Q: What do jack-o-lanterns in the city call the backwoods pumpkins?
A: Country Bumpkins. 

Q: Who does a jack-o-lantern fear?
A: The fairy godmother because she will turn him back into a pumpkin.

Q: Why did the jack-o-lanterns claim to be spiritual?
A: Because he had an inner light?

Q: What did the jack-o-lantern say to the annoying pumpkin?
A: Cut it out.

Q: What does a jack-o-lantern have nightmares about?
A: The local Pumpkin Chunking Competitions.

Q: How did the jack-o-lantern win the STEM competition?
A: A light suddenly went on in his head!

Q: Why are they named Jack-o-lanterns?
A: Because Jill rolled down the hill!

Q: Why are jack-o-lanterns always wearing a dumb smile on their face?
A: What do you expect? All their brains were scooped out of their head.

Green Pumpkin in Orange pumpkins

More Pumpkin Jokes

Q: Why was Cinderella bad at sports?
A: Because her coach was a pumpkin.

Q: When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin?
A: When you drop it, then it’s squash.

Q: What kind of romance do pumpkins enjoy?
A: A mushy romance.

Q: What genre do pumpkins enjoy the most?
A: Pulp Fiction.

Q: What are the most attractive pumpkins called?
A: They are gourdgeous.

Q: Why do jack-o-lanterns sit on the porch?
A: Because they don’t have hands to open the front door.

Q:  What’s orange and goes “choo choo”.
A: A pumpkin in train-ing.

Q: Why did the pumpkin cross the road?
A: Because it fell off the wagon.

Symbol for Pi Red

Q: What happens if you divide a pumpkin’s circumference by its diameter?
A: You get Pumpkin Pi. 

Q: What does pumpkin pie say after a big meal? A: “That was filling.”

Q: What do pumpkins and cats have in common?
A: They both wait on the porch for you to get home.

Q: What do you call an obese pumpkin?
A: A plumpkin.

Q: Why don’t pumpkins get into arguments?
A: Because they have no stomach for fighting.

Q: Who is the grand leader of all pumpkins?
A: The Pumpking!

Q: What did the farmer say when his gourds went missing?
A: There’s pumpkin strange happening here.

Halloween Pumpkin Jokes

Halloween pumpkins lined up

Q: What did the jack-o-lantern tell his ghost friend on Halloween night?
A: I feel warm inside tonight.

Q: Why was the jack-o-lantern all cut up?
A: Because it was Halloween.

Q: Why do pumpkins get their brains scooped out before Halloween?
A: So the zombies won’t eat them.

Q: What kind of night lights do vampires prefer to use?
A: Jack-o-lanterns.

Q: Why did everyone think the Jack-o-Lantern was evil?
A: It had a wicked candle inside it.

Q: What did the orange pumpkin ask the green pumpkin?
A: “Are you a zombie?”

Q: When does a jack-o-lantern eat?
A: As soon as you carve it a mouth.

Q: Do you know what our family exclaims before we carve pumpkins?
A: Happy Hollowing!

Q: What do pumpkins eat at the movies?
A: Candy corn.

Q: Why do jack-o-lanterns look up to scarecrows?
A: Because they have been looking up to them since they were tiny pumpkins.

Q: Why did the witch paint her toenails orange?
A: So she could hide in the pumpkin patch until Halloween.

4 funny pumpkin faces carved

Did you enjoy these Pumpkin Jokes? We have more Funny Halloween JokesGhost jokes, and Skeleton jokes. We also have a Halloween jokes for kids page here.

Want content that’s a bit more mature for adults? Check out our Halloween jokes for adults page and our Halloween Pranks page for Halloween joke ideas to play on friends and neighbors this holiday season.